The Dord of Darien

Musings from the Mayor of the Internet

I am not a racialist! But!

It’s not for lack of trying. It’s just because I’m goddamn terrible at it.

Everybody knows I’m keen on baseball. I’ve followed baseball for years. I’ve written sixty-three blog posts about it. It’s pretty much a safe bet that I’m familiar with it. So I was reading this blog post. I don’t really know what it’s about; something about some stuff Lenny Dykstra allegedly said to some other dude clearly has an axe to grind anyhow. But I got about three paragraphs into it, so read that much. It’ll take like fifteen seconds.

My reaction upon reading the third paragraph there was "hang on, Derek Jeter’s not black." So I sez to Dave I sez, hey, is Derek Jeter black? And he’s all "well, uh, yeah. What did you think?" So I went and looked at some pictures of Derek Jeter, and I gotta say, I’m still not seeing it. So I asked the wife, hey, did you know Derek Jeter is black? And then she’s all "uh, yeah. What’s wrong with you?" So apparently I’m the only person in all of creation who didn’t know Derek Jeter was black.

Which is why I suck as a racist. I can’t even goddamn tell what race somebody is, much less belittle him for it. Except in obvious cases, like A-rod. Skin colour like that, he could only be one thing.

March 18th, 2009 Posted by | Bullshit | 3 comments


  1. Derek Jeter, like our illustrious President, is of mixed race. His dad is African-American, his mom is Irish-German. So yeah, he’s not as dark as all that, but I still can’t believe you thought he just had a bitchin’ tan all this time.

    Honestly, A-Rod confuses me more. Is he black, or latino? Is he a mix? Wikipedia says he’s Dominican, but I’m not convinced I know what the racial makeup of the Dominican Republic is well enough to really understand what that means. I guess “Dominican” is good enough though.

    Comment by Dave | 20 March 2009

  2. I thought I made it pretty clear what A-rod is.

    Comment by Darien | 20 March 2009

  3. Hey, while I’m making fun of A-rod anyhow, you seen this?

    Comment by Darien | 21 March 2009

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.