The Dord of Darien

Musings from the Mayor of the Internet

Houston, we have a problem.

I have arrived in Houston, flying right over Minute Maid park in the process. The Astros were so close I could practically mock them from here. In other news, the intercom told me that jokes about security are grounds for arrest. I hope they don’t read my blog!

October 31st, 2008 Posted by | Bullshit | no comments

Vegas, baby! Vegas!

Shortly I’ll be leaving for an awesome people convention in Las Vegas, so expect reduced activity around here for the next several days. I may post quick stupid shit if I am so motivated, but there probably won’t be any epics you wouldn’t read anyhow for you not to read.

October 30th, 2008 Posted by | Bullshit | no comments

Last man standing: The Philadelphia Phillies

Hey, now maybe Phillies fans will shut the fuck up about how they haven’t won a World Series in twenty-eight whole years, a number that totally fails to fill Cubs fans such as myself with much sympathy. And a number that doesn’t really make much sense to whine about, since, given that there are thirty teams in the MLB, it’s pretty much a guarantee that at least two of them haven’t won a World Series in twenty-eight years, don’t you think?

October 29th, 2008 Posted by | Baseball | one comment

Election comedy

This has been making the rounds lately. Good ol’ Bob Hope.

October 28th, 2008 Posted by | Bullshit | no comments


So last post I alleged — with irony quotes and everything — that the Connecticut for Lieberman party was bullshit. It turns out that that’s only partly true. The party was certainly founded as a bullshit front so Joe-Joe could be sure he’d get on the ballot even if he lost the nomination (which he did, incidentally), but apparently in the last two years it’s transformed itself into a party opposed to bullshit political gaming like that, and to Joe Lieberman in particular. Hey, any political party opposed to Joe Lieberman can’t be all bad, and any party with enough of a sense of humour to be completely at odds with its own name is OK in my book. So I guess I owe those guys an apology.

October 28th, 2008 Posted by | Bullshit | 2 comments

Campaign Finance

We’re now, what, nine days from the election? So all the usual election year bullshit is pitching up toward fever right now. I’m hearing a lot of cruft about "campaign finance reform" this year, including the call to move to public funding for campaigns. This will apparently make politics "more fair."

First off, I’d just like to say that no fucking way do I want my tax dollars used to pay for the reelection of my scumbag senators, so all you public funding assholes can just go fuck yourselves. And just in case I didn’t swear enough to indicate how much distaste I have for that idea, I’d like to add this: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Next, I have to ask you people why on earth you want to get money out of politics. You do realise that money is your voice, right? That if you remove money from politics by passing bullshit laws, all that means is that the people in power have a way easier time of staying in power? Seriously. Why do you think that Campaign Reform Act was "Bipartisan?" No points for guessing it’s because the people it benefits are 1) fat-cat Republicans, and 2) fat-cat Democrats. Contrary to what John McCain wants you to think, there won’t be any real "mavericks" getting into high office under McCain-Feingold, since, hey, guess what? That just means the parties that already have the most members and the most exposure have an easier time of getting more. That makes life rather difficult for the Libertarians, the Green Party, the Bible Constitution Party, the Whigs, the Anti-Masonic Party, but not, to be sure, the "Connecticut For Lieberman Party."

October 27th, 2008 Posted by | Bullshit | 4 comments

You’re Abe Froman?

Veronica is the sausage master. Doubt not her facility with the sausages, neither doubt thou the potency of the spatula dance. Not to mention we’re going to run away to Disney World together one of these days.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, well, YNCFT.

October 25th, 2008 Posted by | Bullshit, Food | 2 comments

Orson Scott Card is my new hero

Check this shit out. Now, Card is a bit more willing to overlook relevant mistakes the Republicans did make than I am, and he’s a bit more inclined to support regulation instead of dissolution as far as humongous lending GSEs are concerned, but overall he’s completely right, and it’s nice to see somebody else who actually recognises that the Democratic party bears the brunt of the blame for the current financial crisis. I’m not particular fan of John McCain, but, yes, I did find it rather apalling that, after shoving this bailout down our throats, the Democrats were able to blame both the bailout and the situation it was bailing out on the Republicans. I really can’t believe people actually fell for that, and I’m not too thrilled with the multitude of American journalists who participated in selling that lie to the public. And neither, it seems, is Orson Scott Card.

October 24th, 2008 Posted by | Bullshit | no comments

Virtual spousal abuse

Apparently some Japanese woman’s husband broke up with her, and so she got back at him by killing him. I know what you’re thinking — so what? That’s nothing too unusual. And that may be true, except that this marriage, divorce, and murder all took place in an MMORPG. The woman was apparently so upset about the collapse of her e-marriage that she broke into the man’s account and deleted his character. That’s a little bit wack.

Full disclosure: I play World of Warcraft, and I have in fact had a WOW wedding. But I haven’t seen my WOW husband in years, and I don’t even know if he still plays.

… Wait, was that gay?

October 24th, 2008 Posted by | Games | one comment

Oh it’s on

That’s what I’m talking about right there; the ALCS this year completely rocked. It went all the way to game 7, and was hotly contested right up until the final out that earned the Tampa Bay Rays — yes, the Tampa Bay Rays — their first American League pennant, and earned the Boston Red Sox a trip home to watch the World Series on TV. Or maybe to watch the Steve Harvey Show or half an hour of Barack Obama explaining how great socialism is.

The Rays led 3-1 coming into the eighth, and then a fielding error allowed a baserunner — which then rapidly developed into a two-out bases-loaded situation. And who saves the day? A goddamn september call-up. That was a ballsy move there, putting him in in that situation. But it paid off, and now the Tampa Bay Rays will play the Philadelphia Phillies in The Most Unexpected World Series Matchup Ever.

If it makes you Red Sox fans feel any better, though, the Red Sox outlasted Manny’s new team! I know it would have been kind of uncomfortable if the Red Sox sat out and Manny went to the World Series without them.

October 20th, 2008 Posted by | Baseball | 6 comments