The Dord of Darien

Musings from the Mayor of the Internet


Today on "Jon Heyman’s mouth"

It’s early in Ryan Howard’s $125 million contract. But Howard, who has a league-leading 29 RBIs, is worth every penny so far.

That’s at the very bottom of this mass of verbal ulcers. Well, is Jon Heyman right for a change? Is it just possible that league-leading RBI-er Ryan Howard is earning every penny of his quite frankly ridiculous contract? Well, let’s look at the facts.

First fact that comes to mind is that Ryan Howard is leading the league in RBIs by negative three over the next highest total. Put another way: Lance Berkman is leading the league in RBIs, you intractable moron. For fuck’s sake, Jon, if you’re going to hang your hat on a worthless stat like RBIs, at least get it right. Is that so much to ask?

Well, never mind. I’m sure that was a typo. Jon probably meant to point out that Howard is leading the league in home runs — oh, wait, no, he’s 30th (Fonzie is leading). So… OBP? No, 64th (right below Jeff Francoeur — Jeff Francoeur!!(!!!)). SLG? 31st. BA? 67th. Hmm. WAR? 90th. Actually, I can’t find a single thing Howard is leading the league in, though he is fourth in the coveted category of "most likely to swing 3-0!"

But never mind all that. That’s just baseball stuff. We want to know if Ryan Howard is earning every penny of that contract! Well, so far this year, Ryan Howard has been worth 0.7 WAR, putting him about on track for 3 WAR on the season. And that big new contract will be paying him…

Uh. Jon? I don’t know quite how to break this to you, but… Ryan Howard’s big contract extension starts next year. He’s still under the old contract this year. Though I’m with you 100%: he is worth all zero of the pennies his new contract will pay this year.

May 6th, 2011 Posted by | Baseball | no comments

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