The Dord of Darien

Musings from the Mayor of the Internet

They’re everywhere! Everywhere!

Guy I work with had a bottle of pep pills with him the other day, since he was working a long day and I guess wanted a bit of extra "zip." Now, we’re not talking the super fun happy kind here; these are just those OTC caffeine nuggets. Off-brand No-Doz, basically. One of my other coworkers was shocked (shocked!!) that he would be taking such a thing. The reason being? Don’t you know that has chemicals in it?

I would like to take this opportunity to offer a giant fuck you to the entire stupid hippie organic subculture that’s responsible for people actually saying shit like that. If you were wondering, attempts to explain to this girl that her beloved herbal remedy of choice contains substantially higher levels of psychoactive chemicals than a damn No-Doz resulted in a blank stare and an exasperated "it’s different because that’s natural."

I guess the caffeine used to make No-Doz is an alien substance imported from Bizarro Utah or someplace.

December 23rd, 2007 Posted by | Bullshit | no comments

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