The Dord of Darien

Musings from the Mayor of the Internet

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Hillary Clinton is the most evil woman alive and also she’s a gigantic pussy

Guess who needs a heavily-armed posse to protect her from a 71-year-old man’s outrageous attempt to ignore her while she’s running her fucking face? Did you guess Secretary of Cunt Luciferia Clinton? Then you’re the big winner today! Get a load of how offensively smug she is while her hired goons are beating the shit out of an unarmed, defenseless old man whose sole crime is not giving her the respect she wrongly thinks she’s earned:

Dear Hillary: I will fight you. Name the time, name the place, we’ll throw down. See who’s really big shit. I mean, don’t get me wrong; I’m probably the very very weakest man imaginable, but I’d still say the smart money’s on me over some worthless old bag who can’t even handle somebody ignoring her without calling on hired thugs. Who she paid for with money she stole from me in the first place.

So let’s do this. You, me, whatever apparatus you need to get your dilapidated saggy ass hoisted upright so you can walk. Just for your edification, I’ve made a short comic strip detailing how this will end up:

This is you
This is me
This is you again
This is your world
This is your world on getting rocked by me
Any questions?
Money shot

I just got off the phone with Dante, and he confirmed my long-held suspicion that there’s a top secret tenth circle of Hell reserved exclusively for Jason Voorhees, Freddy Kreuger, and Hillary Clinton. So, Hill, when I’m done with you, that’s going to seem pretty good. Because you can forget about the People’s Elbow — People’s Elbow? I’ma drop the People’s Elbow, People’s Forearm, People’s Fist, People’s Knee, and People’s Probably Against The Rules Eye Gouge on you, and, if you’re real lucky, I’ll finish it up by ramming the People’s Boot up your wrinkly old ass. You’ll be begging for Jason to take you away just like he took all the camp councilors away in whichever Friday the Thirteenth movie it is where he kills all the camp councilors. Or the one where he’s in space, which was fucked up.

If you ignore my challenge, that’s fine. We’ll all know what a ridiculous pussy you are. If you can’t stand up to me, for fuck’s sake, you clearly ain’t got much going on. For extra comedy points, of course, you can always send your hired thugs after me. I’m not scared. You can silence me with guns and clubs and like fucking Martian nark-nark guns like we all know you’re hording in your secret government vault right by the Ark of the Covenant, but you can never silence all the internet assholes calling you out.

Unless you make like Hosni and actually shut down the infrastructure, anyway. Which would add awesome irony style points to the whole affair.


February 17th, 2011 Posted by | Bullshit | no comments

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