The Dord of Darien

Musings from the Mayor of the Internet



Hey look, Nomar Garciaparra just signed a one-day contract with the Red Sox. Isn’t that adorable? He wanted to retire as a Red Sox player, and the Red Sox apparently wanted to claim him, so they worked out a nutty one-day deal. That’s charming and silly. I like it.

If that’s too positive for you, we can take a look at Torii Hunter making crazy racial remarks about Vladimir Guerrero being an "impostor" and not, apparently, actually black.

As African-American players, we have a theory that baseball can go get an imitator and pass them off as us. It’s like they had to get some kind of dark faces, so they go to the Dominican or Venezuela because you can get them cheaper. It’s like, ‘Why should I get this kid from the South Side of Chicago and have Scott Boras represent him and pay him $5 million when you can get a Dominican guy for a bag of chips?’ … I’m telling you, it’s sad.

Vlad Guerrero’s 2009 salary: $15 million

That’s a damn lot of chips, Torii. How unfair to you that they were able to get such an obviously inferior player instead of having to pay you $18 million. Which you deserve. Since you’re so much blacker than Vlad.

You know what offends me the most about Hunter’s idiotic comment? The fact that I agree with Ozzie goddamn Guillen:

In our country, we play baseball. That’s no choice. Here you can play basketball, you can be another athlete, you can do so many things when you have the opportunity. And that’s why there’s not many (African-American) players out there.

Torii, here’s the deal. You’re making less sense than Ozzie Guillen. You can go to jail for that in at least 37 states. I think you really need to relax. And maybe stop whining about nonsense.

March 10th, 2010 Posted by | Baseball | no comments

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