The Dord of Darien

Musings from the Mayor of the Internet

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Department of Corrections

In re: this post. I’m sorry, did I say the Angels would win the AL West? Apparently I meant the Oakland Athletics, since I failed to realise quite how terrible the Angels really are. Tee hee.


September 1st, 2010 Posted by | Baseball, Meta-meta | no comments

Dibble gets shitcanned!

One of the most objectionably bad analysts in the whole history of analysis has just lost his cushy job talking about the Washington Nationals. Turns out Dibble tore into Stephen Strasburg for being a giant pussy and going on the DL just because he had a torn ligament in his elbow. Be a man, Strasburg! Dibble would have fucking pitched through it.

Which I guess is why Dibble’s career lasted seven whole seasons before he was out of baseball with injuries. Good work, Rob, you unquenchable moron.


September 1st, 2010 Posted by | Baseball | no comments

The Angels will win the AL West

How do I know this? Because the Rangers just traded for Jeff Francoeur. Take it away, Ron Washington:

We needed another right-handed bat and he’ll give us that so that we don’t have to keep sending up left-handed bats against the lefties. And he’s a guy we know will drive in runs.

I agree with Ron Washington about exactly one thing: cocaine is a hell of a drug Jeff Francoeur is right-handed. Remember when I was saying that people massively overvalue platoon splits? This is exactly what I mean. Jeff Francoeur’s right-handed! That gives us an awesome weapon against lefties! Except:

Jeff Francoeur, 2010, vs. LHP: .280 / .351 / .410 / .761 sOPS+: 104

Woo. I mean, that’s better than his line against RHP (sOPS+: 76), but it’s not exactly good. See why it would be better to have a good left-handed hitter than a shitty right-handed hitter? The utterly unremarkable — but left-handed — Kosuke Fukudome’s 2010 LHP line looks like this: .259 / .368 / .519 / .882 sOPS+: 156 (!).

Oh, and, he’ll drive in runs? You know that? Is that because of his career ISO of .157, which is one point lower than noted run-driver-inner Brandon Inge? Or perhaps it’s because of his career total -43.7 weighted runs above average? Seriously, Jeff Francoeur has played at exactly replacement level this year, and that’s only because his somewhat-valuable fielding has offset his atrocious hitting. And you just signed him as a pinch hitter. Think about that.

Anything you’d like to say in your defense, Jeff?

It’s been a tough couple of weeks for me. It just hasn’t happened for me (with the Mets). People expect different things.

Yes. For example, some people expect that people who get paid $5M to hit baseballs can actually hit said baseballs. Other people expect that they can say ridiculous things like "If on-base percentage is so important, then why don’t they put it up on the scoreboard?" and get away with it. You see how it is.

So congratulations, Angels! I’ll be watching your comeback from 8 1/2 games with intense amusement.


September 1st, 2010 Posted by | Baseball | no comments