The Dord of Darien

Musings from the Mayor of the Internet

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And this was Jason Giambi

He [Todd Helton] is a pitcher’s worst nightmare with runners on. You could throw a pitch behind his back and he’d find a way to foul it off

That, to me, makes him sound like a pitcher’s best friend, yeah? You know, since that was going to be a ball, and he just magically transformed it into a strike and all. So don’t do that, Todd Helton. Not even if Jason offers to let you wear his magical good-luck thong.


March 25th, 2010 Posted by | Baseball | no comments

And this I heard from Yahoo sports

Newcomers such as third baseman Adrian Beltre have transformed the Red Sox into a team that emphasizes defense and pitching.

I’m assuming the others in the "newcomers" crowd this is referring to are Marco Scutaro and Mike Cameron, yeah? "Transformed… into a team that emphasizes defense and pitching" is a pretty awesome way of saying "holy shit the Red Sox just signed a lot of dudes who can’t hit."


March 25th, 2010 Posted by | Baseball | no comments

I swear they said this too

The big play of the game, offensively, for the Angels, was when they got Vlad.

So the big offensive play — you know, the key thing the Angels did offensively, with their offense — was snagging a hard Vlad Guerrero liner. You know, a defensive play.

This was after about five minutes of the colour man talking about his car.


March 25th, 2010 Posted by | Baseball | no comments

I swear the Rangers announcers just said this

He [Eddie McKiernan] gave up a single, a home run, and a walk.

Eddie McKiernan had given up a double, a home run, and a hit batsman. So good work, guys!


March 25th, 2010 Posted by | Baseball | no comments