The Dord of Darien

Musings from the Mayor of the Internet

Race-baiting

Roy S. Johnson is an idiot. He is a bad idiot who writes bad nonsense about baseball, and, apparently, about social justice also.

Some Sioux want to save their mascot, but Native American nicknames still should be banned

Banned? By whom? Good ol’ Roy S. hasn’t thought his argument out well enough to tell you. I’ll be charitable and assume he doesn’t mean "banned by law," since that’s a pretty fat first amendment violation even if you do hate the rule of law enough to assume that the commerce clause covers regulating what mascots can be called. So I guess he thinks all sports leagues everywhere should be subject to his aesthetic preferences, which is pretty stunningly self-important of him. So, in other words: welcome to a typical Roy S. Johnson article, where he speaks in monomaniacal, meaningless platitudes.

They’re almost gone, those insipid, demeaning Native American caricatures permeating sports.

Unfortunately, it looks like insipid, demeaning articles like this are here to stay.

In 2005, the NCAA told 18 colleges (two others were later added) they might be prevented from wearing their colors and displaying their logo at NCAA championship events if they did not eliminate offending logos and mascots.

That was fairly stupid, but something entirely within the NCAA’s purview. You’ll note that, unlike Roy S., they are not trying to save the world from the terrors of people not agreeing with them; they merely won’t allow, at events they run, imagery that they think will reduce their customer base. This is a sensible decision, unlike the leap of logic Roy S. makes here:

(Unfortunately, pro sports commissioners have not shown the guts to demand that owners such as Dan Snyder of the Washington Redskins or Paul Dolan of the Cleveland Indians shed franchise nicknames stuck in another era.)

I would pay good money to witness what happens when Bud Selig tells the Indians, the Braves, the Yankees, the Reds, and the Padres — all teams with names taken from various ethnic groups — that he’ll kick them out of baseball unless they change their names, logos, and mascots. That would be hilarious. So come on, Bud! Sack up and do what Roy S. wants! It’s for the good of Society, after all.

One tribe is actually fighting to save its portrayal as the mascot of the University of North Dakota. The New York Times recently chronicled the efforts of members of a Sioux tribe in the state which sued to prevent UND from dropping the name.

Can you sue a sports team to prevent it from changing its name? That’s nuts.

Why? Because it made them feel proud.

Well fuck them. Don’t those silly, funny-coloured people have enough of God’s Own Sense to know when shit’s offensive? Apparently not. Listen up, bitches, I’ll tell you what you can and can’t be proud of, because I’m Roy S. Johnson, and you know what the S stands for? Bad motherfucker.

"I am full blood and I grew up on this reservation," one 57-year-old Sioux was quoted as saying. "I have to tell you: I am very, very honored that they would use the name."

It’s so cute when minorities think they have the right to make their own decisions. Listen, Tonto, we’ll decide for you what’s offensive and what isn’t, because we’re the high-minded majority working for the good of society, and because the S stands for bad motherfucker.

Any merits or unique passions the Sioux might offer in their argument still do not justify the Neanderthal use of Native American names or likenesses as sports nicknames or mascots — use that "celebrates" entire nations with tired stereotypes. That won’t change even if the Sioux gain a victory their case.

See, I completely agree. What is with these stupid Neanderthals? Who the fuck do they think they are, liking something I find "tired?" Listen, assholes, I don’t care about your "culture" or your "heritage" — I’m just sick and goddamn tired of hearing about it. And so is all the rest of society, which is definitely a thing, and definitely has preferences.

The Fighting Sioux of UND may be portrayed in a manner the suing Sioux deem to be uplifting. But every time I see a tomahawk chop or hear a stadium roar in a faux-Indian chant or see someone ride out on the field dressed in an Native American-inspired outfit while donning "war paint," my stomach turns a bit.

"Suing Sioux" wordplay: 7/10
Level of hypocrisy added to Roy S. Johnson’s argument by using the phrase "Suing Sioux:" 6/10

For all the progress we’ve made in this nation, such trivial displays once again remind me that perhaps we haven’t come very far at all.

Things that no longer exist in this country: slavery, Jim Crow laws, seperate-but-equal, Smallpox-laden blankets, Smallpox at fucking all, Manifest Destiny, Indian wars, Trails of Tears, concentration camps.

These injustices pale in comparison to: a baseball team called the Indians.

I attended a school that years ago called itself the Indians.

(How can I work in a mention that I went to Stanford? Need to find a spot… got it!)

Yes, everyone associated with Stanford at that time was "proud" of the mascot and imagery. But saner minds prevailed long ago and now we’re a color: the Cardinal. Not the bird, for those who didn’t know (and may have wondered now that a Cardinal, Toby Gerhart, is a Heisman finalist), but the color. (Our mascot is a tree, not a crayon.)

… And that’s what I did on my summer vacation, by Roy S. Johnson, age 7.

The world did not stop spinning on its axis when the school changed its nickname.

Which it actually would if the school had not changed its nickname. That’s actually been proven by a U.N. subcommittee, and Al Gore is making a movie about it. Watch for "An Inconvenient Metaphor," coming to theatres early 2010!

Right now, we’re raising another generation that believes it’s OK to use a tomahawk chop as a rallying gesture, instead of teaching them of the truly proud people who were here before any of us and who deserve to be better remembered and celebrated.

Like the Sioux, you mean? Who you are currently arguing should not be remembered and celebrated because you’re sick of hearing about them? Okay. Just checking.

Bear in mind that, right now, we’re raising another generation that will write like Roy S. Johnson.


December 13th, 2009 Posted by | Baseball, Bullshit | no comments