Listen to this dimwit babbling about umpires:
"You cannot work two World Series in consecutive years, so what’s the incentive for umpires to be great?"
Money? Money’s good. Also continuing to umpire at the Major League level is an incentive, yeah? Oh, and not having this article written about you. That would motivate me.
You know who I can name off the top of my head? Doug Eddings. He’s probably the most famous umpire in baseball. Why? Because he legendarily fucked up two important calls. Every time I see an umpire fuck something up I check to see if it was Doug Eddings. You don’t want to be Doug Eddings.
"The guys who will work the World Series — they will have been sitting around for three weeks."
Well, sure. Umpiring is not exactly like pitching. It’s not a tremendous physical exertion that has to be quick, precise, and repeated over and over again.
To his credit, the other announcer just stammered and stuttered his way through a kind-of response to the first statement, and ignored the second one altogether.
October 21st, 2009
Posted by
Darien |
Baseball |
2 comments
Just said "the crowd continues to be apopleptic."
First off: that word does not have quite so many instances of the letter P as you seem to think it does. Apoplectic, gang.
Second off: that word does not mean what you think it means. This is Philadelphia and the Phillies are winning by a huge amount. The crowd is not "apoplectic," which means angry. Neither is the crowd "apopleptic," which means nothing. Do you see?
Third off: Just say "crazy." Longer words aren’t necessarily better words.
You’re out.
October 21st, 2009
Posted by
Darien |
Baseball |
no comments
The only problem is, Yahoo has kind of beaten me and the cast of the apparently-defunct Fire Steve Phillips to the punch on this one. Their article about his recent affair with a crazy person makes him look like a giant fool pretty much as thoroughly as I could.
Oh, except for one thing:
"This woman has clearly displayed erratic behavior and delusional tendencies," Phillips said in a statement to police. "She has shown up at our house. She has taken on the identity of at least two people (minors) to violate our son (a minor). I have extreme concerns about the health and safety of my kids and myself."
That’s basically a gobbledygook paragraph, but I’d like to mention the gobbledyest bit of gook from the whole thing. Unless there are some fairly provocative details that have been withheld in this account, Steve Phillips, your crazy mistress certainly did not "violate" your son. That word has a pretty specific meaning when used in this context, and it’s not the same as "annoy."
Also, I’m fairly sure that the fact that her assumed identities were "minors" is not very relevant to anything.
October 21st, 2009
Posted by
Darien |
Baseball, Bullshit |
no comments
