The Dord of Darien

Musings from the Mayor of the Internet

I’m not making this up, and I can prove it

I’m serious, guys: swanky Barry Zito has taken some time off from spending the $126M the Giants gave him for no discernable reason and has recorded a song. Apparently he’s twigged to the fact that he’s probably on his last Major League contract, and he’s exploring other avenues for his talent. Personally, I think he should stick to walking a ton of guys and modeling for designer jeans ads, since the singing thing… well.

Barry, you seem like a nice guy, I dig that thing you did last Christmas for the poor kids, but this faux-seventies warbly pop ballad slightly fusion-y shit is just not the way to go. Don’t take it personally.

I’m starting to worry that my Barry Zito obsession is getting out of hand. Not only did I know offhand that he’d done the jeans thing and the kids thing, but when I went to grab his data from Baseball Reference, I found that I already had the Barry Zito player card opened, and I have no idea why.

I think I need to go lie down.

August 7th, 2009 Posted by | Baseball, Bullshit | no comments