The Dord of Darien

Musings from the Mayor of the Internet

There were zwei peanuts walking down die straße…

So everybody knows about how monomaniacal tiny little short man Michael Bloomberg is trying to make it illegal for people in New York City to eat salt. Well, not to be outdone, some hi-larious gasbag idiots in the state legislature are pushing this bill, which, to quote it in its entirety, "prohibits the use of salt by restaurants in the preparation of food by restaurants."

Now, obviously, that summary was written by somebody not of this earth. Presumably, on whatever planet the asshole who wrote this came from, a fine of $1000 does not seem excessive for the make-believe crime of salting food; it is worth noting, however, that here on planet not-shoved-up-some-congressman’s-ass, it’s downright absurd.

And, of course, this intelligent new law would ban the use of salt "in any form." Anybody stupid enough to believe the government won’t define that so broadly as to encompass the use of any food products containing salt — which is all of them — probably still thinks there’s no way the Patriot Act could be misused.

The only bright light here is that, since it’s clearly insane, it’s not going to pass. Even New York politicians aren’t stupid enough to sign this. Illinois politicians, maybe, but not New York.


March 9th, 2010 Posted by | Bullshit, Food | no comments