If you're anything like me, you've always wondered what planet the magical light energy that fills your body originally came from. I mean, let's face it; people like you and me, we're too special to be boring old Earthlings. We're obviously mystical beings from other planets who just happen to have assumed this form for a while, kind of like on Sailor Moon. And now, thanks to the magic of the internet and the even cooler magic of pd.com, you can now find out for yourself which planet your soul comes from!

You can thank me later.

Question 1. When faced with a problem, I...
Disintegrate into a quivering mass of jelly.
KILL IT.
Look up the answer on the internet.
Explode in a shower of a million shining colours.
Get an underling to deal with it.

Question 2. Choose a magical item.
Transformation pen
HELL.
Sword +1, flame tongue, +2 vs. regenerating creatures, +3 vs. cold-using, inflammable, or avian creatures, +4 vs. undead
My own soul
Lucky dice

Question 3. Choose an element.
Water
HELL.
Boron. Ho ho, I am a funny one.
Love
Crime

Question 4. If you had only one wish, what would it be?
World peace
MIRRORS OF MAD PAIN
A browser that works properly
To be love
"To be love?" What the hell kind of goddamn fruitcake are you? Honestly. That's the most inane thing I've ever heard. My wish is for you to get the hell away from me.

Question 5. What is your favourite animal?
Puppy dog! No, wait, Bunny rabbit! No, wait, kitty cat! No, wait...
A DEAD ONE.
Tarrasque.
A beautiful butterfly.
Gangster.

Question 6. Choose a word.
Fun!
PAIN.
Ethereal.
Faerie.
Money.

Question 7. What is your favourite colour?
Pink.
BLACK LIKE A BLACK THING ON BLACK DAY.
Blue. No, yellow - AAAAAHHH!!
Shimmering beauty like the wings of an angel.
What? That ain't a colour. Goddamn fruit. Uhh... green. Like as in money.

Question 8. Who is your greatest role model?
Sailor Moon!!
THE DEVIL. EVIL 0WNZ JOO ALL.
Linus Torvalds.
Arwen Evenstar.
Al Capone.

Question 9. What is the nicest thing one person can do for another?
Love him.
PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY.
Teach him.
Avoid using insensitive, gender-exclusive pronouns.
Pray for his soul after you send him to sleep with the fishes.

Question 10. What is your greatest fear?
Death.
YOU COULDN'T EVEN HEAR THE NAME OF MY GREATEST FEAR AND KEEP YOUR SANITY, FOOL.
fsck dumping core.
Darkness.
Eliot Ness.

Questions, comments, suggestions, or insults? Send them right along to darien@perfectlydarien.com

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